Networking at Social Events: How I Survive as Someone with Major Social Anxiety
TL;DR
Introverts (and you who suffers from social anxiety)—Rejoice!—you can survive conferences without faking extroversion. My go-to toolkit: CBD for the jitters, deep breaths, comfy-but-confident outfits, and a few icebreaker questions that don’t feel weird. Success = real connections, not a stack of business cards.
Feeling stuck with your SEO and not sure if you’re doing it right? Download this SEO audit checklist and get back in the drivers seat of your business’ online visibility.
Some people are born to be in front of an audience. I, on the other hand, tend to run the opposite direction when I see a crowd. So naturally, I’ve never felt totally comfortable at conferences or professional meetups. My social anxiety shows up like clockwork and imposter syndrome tags along for the ride–lucky me. I get nervous, you know the whole sweaty palms, racing heart, and feeling like I want to curl up into a ball. On top of that, I’ll stumble over my words, forget what I want to say, or feel like I don’t belong in the room at all.
But I go anyway.
Because I know my work makes a difference. I run a web design and SEO company, and I’ve helped clients show up on the first page of Google and rank first in the local map pack. Their businesses are more visible, they’re getting found by their ideal clients, and they’re booking more business because of the strategy we’ve built together. That matters. And that keeps me showing up, even when my stomach's in knots.
If you’re an introvert (or just someone who dreads networking), here are a few things that have helped me survive, and sometimes even thrive, at live events.
My Pre-Event Survival Kit
Before heading into any conference, I prep in ways that help me feel more grounded and a little less like I want to hide in the hotel room all day.
CBD for the nerves
Taking a small dose of *CBD hemp oil helps calm my body, especially when I feel jittery or stuttery. It’s not a fix-all, but it takes the edge off so I can actually focus on conversations instead of spiraling inside my own head.
Quick note: CBD is non-psychoactive, meaning it doesn’t get you high. It’s different from THC and is totally legal in most places. I use a low-dose tincture to stay steady without feeling foggy or “off.”
Deep breaths + water
I know this seems simple BUT IT WORKS! I take a few slow, deep breaths in the car or right outside the venue. I also keep a water bottle with me because sipping gives me a pause when I feel overwhelmed or need to reset mid-conversation.
Wear something you feel good in
This one is important because you can’t simply change your outfit mid-conference. I always make sure I feel good about what I’m wearing and how my hair looks before I leave. Not in a perfectionist way, just enough so I’m not self-conscious and can fully focus on what matters–connecting with people and having real conversations. When you feel good in your own skin, it frees up so much mental space. And people feel it.
Conversation Starters That Don’t Feel Weird
Walking up to someone you don’t know can feel awkward. But having a few go-to conversation starters helps me break the ice without overthinking it.
Here are a few I’ve used:
“What brought you to this event?”
“Did you catch the (insert session name) session? What’d you think?”
“Is this your first time here?”
“What kind of work do you do?”
They’re simple, open-ended, and give the other person something to respond to, which takes the pressure off me to carry the conversation.
Bonus tip: try to use their name early. Something like “Nice to meet you, Alicia” helps you remember it and creates a little connection right away.
Tools That Help Me Stay Grounded
I’ve found a few products that really help with managing my social energy and staying present. I’ll link them all below if you want to check them out.
Pen & notebook
Sure, I love tech, I mean it’s what I work with every day. But nothing beats the feel of the good ol’ pen and paper. Writing things down helps me stay grounded, especially during breaks or between sessions.
Recommendation: *Moleskine Classic Notebook – sleek, portable, and way more satisfying than typing into your Notes app.
Popl Digital Business Card
I use an app called *Popl that lets people scan a code with their phone camera to collect my contact info. It’s quick and simple, and it might make another great conversation starter. You can even link it directly to your website or social media profiles, which is perfect when you want to stay top-of-mind after a conversation and so the relationship doesn’t fizzle out after the event.
Protecting My Energy
Conferences are exhausting, especially when you’re trying to be “on” all day. I’ve learned to listen to my energy and take little steps to protect it:
Step outside for fresh air between sessions.
Find a quiet corner and breathe (yes, even hiding in the hallway is valid).
Book a coffee date with one friendly face mid-day so you have something grounding to look forward to.
Give yourself permission to skip things — you don’t need to go to every panel or happy hour.
Redefining What Networking Success Looks Like
Success doesn’t mean collecting a hundred business cards or pitching my services to everyone in the room.
For me, success is:
Having two meaningful conversations where I showed up fully.
Remembering one person’s name and following up afterward.
Saying what I do with confidence, even if my voice shook a little.
“It’s not about the quantity of people you talk to. It’s about the quality of your connection with the people you chose to talk to.”
For Anyone Who Feels Like They Don’t Belong
If you’ve ever looked around a room and thought, “Why am I even here? Everyone else seems to have it all together…”— I see you. I am you!
Here’s a reminder I hold close:
The only difference between a successful person and yourself is that a successful person has the audacity to show up and present themselves and their work. The crazy thing is they may not even be that good at what they do (but I know you are!) or provide as great a service as you do, but they believe in their minds that they belong there.
What you need to is slight shift in mindset.
“Because having the audacity to show up is half the battle. You don’t need to be the loudest, flashiest, or most extroverted person in the room. You just need to believe in your work enough to be there.”
In Conclusion
Keep showing up. So many people in the room with you are faking confidence. The thing is you don’t need to fake it. You just need to keep showing up in your own way.
Looking for some guidance on optimizing your website for search engines?
Download the free checklist below!
If this stuff seems overwhelming to wrap your brain around, you’re not alone!
Book a free 15-minute chat to see how I can possibly boost your SEO presence and attract more of your ideal clients!
YOU’LL ALSO LOVE...
*those are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to make a purchase, at no extra cost to you - My homestead fund thanks you in advance!
